Well today is a good a day than any to have a bit of a offload about mental health and in particular what’s been happening to me .
It is nothing to be ashamed of though this last week I’ve certainly felt different .
My thoughts and feelings have ranged from depression ,guilt ,despair and to be honest failure .
As many know ive had a lot on my plate. Though when haven’t I .Well it would seem this pressure cooker has reached its limit and come to a head last week .
I have been having what is called pseudoseizures or non eplicitic attacks . yep I hadn’t a clue either what this was .
Its been very scary as my whole body has been affected which has fed into the emotions and feelings I described above .
I had 2 hospital visits and my children had to witness me in a bad way .
There’s a lot more I can say but my head still very fuzzy .
I am now under mental health home intervention team and have upcoming assessments etc .
In short I have reached my limit and as a coping mechanism my mind shut down and experienced dissociation .
It really is quite remarkable the impact stress has on the body both emotionally and physically .
I have tried to be supermum for too long and sorry but I need to hand the cape in lol
Its ok to not be ok and reach out for help .
This last week with no kids ive had chance to take stock and breathe .
Changes need to be made and hopefully the wheels are in motion .
I have had years of coping being strong and have managed to control my depression .
But this has shown me we as humans really have our limits.
I don’t know what the future will hold and how much these seizures etc are going to be present but its been a wake up call .
Time to slow down ,prioritise, self care and BREATHE.