There is no story of me without the story of you

I want to explain it all to you. How this happened. How that summer – the summer I was 16 – made me the person I am today.

I want to share my memories with you: the happy memories are like sunbursts, sparkling on the sea. But then, like a current dragging me under, there’s that summer of 1997.

The summer my life exploded.
The summer I had to grow up.
The summer you came into my life.

And so this is the story of you.

I was very lucky in that my libray had this on its shelves before it had the shops .The cover is beautiful and I ahd heard so much greatness about this book especially when one of my fave authors Rowan Coleman recommended it .

As someone who openly discuses my struggles with depression and anxiety this book really touched me as it explores the world of mental health in a touching and funny way .

I loved the characters in this book especially Joe he was brilliant …there are too many great men in books and none in real life ,well not that I have found lol .

I really could relate to Robyn in her own battles with anxiety and her past and how the demons from our past can threaten the brightness of our future .

Through the book we know Robyn has a secret which is why she is struggling the way she is and when we find out it makes things clearer .

Within the book there are also letters to Lily which add a beautiful deep sentiment to the story .

I loved grace who Robyn works with , she showed the dark and funny side to mental illness.

This book touched me on so many levels,beautifully written and heart-warming


The perfect marriage.
A devastating secret.
An impossible choice.

Lucy was always sure of one thing – her future with husband and soulmate Luke. But after eight long, heartbreaking years trying to have a baby, that future is crumbling before her eyes.

When a terrible accident puts Luke into a coma, Lucy is forced to reassess everything she thought she wanted.

Then Stella arrives. A woman Lucy’s never met, but with a secret that will change her world forever . .

I absolutely loved this book and swooned pretty hard for Luke .He was so romantic and made me want my very own .

This book is so powerful and emotive ,its a rollercoaster of a ride that even within a few chapters  your overwhelmed by the events taking place .

How much can one couple go through.

Its beautifully written ,I felt I had a great insight into Luke and Lucys relationship and how much in love they were .My heart breaked and melted several times .

This is a book I could not put down and did make me need to take a deep breath after and tears were shed .

It shows the ripple effect one day can have on various peoples lifes and how do you deal with that .

when will it change ?


Today im just feeling fed up of struggling fianancially ,emotionally and time wise.  I am on benefits and have been for 5 years ,I hate it as it wasn’t what I wanted ,just life happens and theres no guarantees .  I try my hardest to budget well but doesn’t always happen ,I have debts .  Im fed up of knowing there will never be anyone too help me as I have no parents etc and my ex doesn’t pay maintance or help with any costs …coz hes a cock basically . Its all on me and its hard and frustrating .

When will I find a nice man to treat me or put smile on my face ? I miss affection and compliments and someone being there for ME ,ive been single 4 years now and I look at other single mums who find men and I do think when is it my turn .Bt then how do u meet someone when never out and with kids all the time .

Im only 31 yet days like today I feel so much older ,this isn’t the life I wanted that’s why I worked hard at school and carried on studying .I have ambition and goals and im intelligent yet my life doesn’t show that .

Im fed up of living in a huse I have n idea how or when will be decorated and feel homely .

So anyway today once my shopping has been delivered im sleeping .


Best friends tell you everything; about their kitchen renovation; about their little girl’s schooling. How one of them is leaving the other for a younger model.

Best friends don’t tell lies. They don’t take up residence on your couch for weeks. They don’t call lawyers. They don’t make you choose sides.

Best friends don’t keep secrets about their past. They don’t put you in danger.

Best friends don’t always stay best friends.

I had the absolute pleasure of meeting Tamar and getting my copy of this book signed and she was really lovey and inspiring .This is the first book of hers I have read and am now going to read all of them!!

This book is fantastic ,gripping ,chilling and addictive .

Marriages break down s often these days its seen as the social norm ,but what happens when the aftermath of a couple breaking up ripples into those closest to them .This story shows exactly what happens and its not a  pretty sight .

I felt very uncomfortable with Sasha and her quite dramatic in your face ways ,she was cross and wanted everyone  to know that.Her pride was hurt by her husband and her need for perfection had been jeopardised.

She had this hold over Hannah and you want to give her a shake and say just say no to her !!

Between the narratives of Josh and Hannah there are extracts of a young girl which add to the suspense and chilling factor .

A brilliant suspense filled gripping psychological thriller ,could not put this down .

feet up

Due to me randomly pulling my calf muscle last week this week has seen me hobbling and in pain.So rather than me going swimming rushing round etc I have been coming home after school run and doing lazy stuff .

Ive watched a dvd ,tv ,read,baked ,blogged and ive even had 2 decent phone calls one with a friend and one with my sister .

Ive found over recent months I have times where im quite uncommunicative due to lack of time and obv being stressed etc .So it was nice to actually feel ok to put feet up in bandage and chat and laugh .

Its felt much needed as since kids have gone back its been busy with various things and the next few weeks are going to start getting busy.

I feel like I’ve benefited  from this time and recharged a bit .

A previous counsellor of mine said sometimes the body does things to make us stop and take stock for a moment.

The chasing game

All I seem to do is chase people and follow up calls etc regarding lynx and his autism . For example lynx had a hosp apt he 21 st august ,the specialist said he would send details of what was discussed to me ,my gp and the school .Its now 24 th September and ive had nothing and neither has the other people. I emailed his pa on the 10 th sept and just rang and left message …..why do we have to keep chasing these people.

When you get a diagnosis you think yep all going to be easy now and its really not. Every week im up the school ,or docs or ringing or emailing someone to remind them to do their job.

Why is it so much to ask and expect that we are listened to,respected they do what they said…..

Its all very frustrating and challenging .


Anna Todd’s After fan fiction racked up 1 billion reads online and captivated readers across the globe. Experience the Internet’s most talked-about book, now newly revised and expanded, for yourself! There was the time before Tessa met Hardin, and then there’s everything AFTER…Life will never be the same. #Hessa Tessa is a good girl with a sweet, reliable boyfriend back home. She’s got direction, ambition, and a mother who’s intent on keeping her that way. But she’s barely moved into her freshman dorm when she runs into Hardin. With his tousled brown hair, cocky British accent, tattoos, and lip ring, Hardin is undeniably hot! But he’s also rude – to the point of cruelty, even. For all his attitude, Tessa should hate Hardin. And she does – until she finds herself alone with him in his room. Something about his dark mood grabs her, and when they kiss it ignites within her a passion she’s never known before. He’ll call her beautiful, then insist he isn’t the one for her and disappear again and again. Despite the reckless way he treats her, Tessa is compelled to dig deeper and find the real Hardin beneath all his lies. He pushes her away again and again, yet every time she pushes back, he only pulls her in deeper. Tessa already has the perfect boyfriend. So why is she trying so hard to overcome her own hurt pride and Hardin’s prejudice about nice girls like her? Unless…could this be love?

Today is my turn on this blog tour to share my thoughts on this book . Thank you to The hotbed for sending me a coy to review .Il be honest I didn’t know what was arriving or the size of it …I felt overwhelmed by the size if im honest .When I realised it was one direction fan fiction I will admit I sneered and assumed I wouldn’t enjoy it …I was wrong .

I have never read wattpad or fanfictin in any way and im obviously not a teenager so technically I should have hated it .But you have to give credit where its due this is a brilliant sexy hot romantic story of falling in lve with the wrong guy,who turns out to be right then wrong etc .

There are moments when the whole on ,off thing does get tedious but you have to remember what this book is. In some ways it reminded me of 50shades series due to the constant battle of emotions and how passionate they were even when they were fighting .

I finished this today and Hardin has been on my mind and im gutted ive finished the book so to me that says this has had the right effect .

Hardin has everything you need for a bad book boyfriend ,however under the tattoos and bravado there is a sensitive side and a story !

There were parts I found myself saying aww because he does make you swoon .Hes also preety hot !!

I wasn’t expecting the ending and has made me eager to read the next part.

I think as a reader you should always be open to read new things and basically don’t  judge a book by its cover .

Happy moments

After that serious post im writing this to share my positives of the last week

  • Going to the authors event last Tuesday .this was brilliant and such a boost !
  • Meeting the lady form carers support who was lovely and lynx interacted really well with her ,
  • watching bad neighbours with Estelle ….quality time with Estelle and ZAC EFRON !!
  • having a family trip to the park and overcoming lynx anxieties ..a good day was had
  • Estelle telling me she went to the library on her own accord while waiting for her friends and getting more books out (addicton) and her saying well im not going to sit and be bored when I can read 🙂 she makes me proud
  • making homemade pizzas again


hello im here too

Had lots of words and thoughts in my head for days and not had chance to blog because life is so busy !

But something I saw on someone’s twitter prompted me to write this .Shes a fellow autism parent ,mum of special needs .carer ,many names are used to describe us ..what are our actual names??

She was saying how isolating it all can be and how our world can change without realising .

There comes a point when you and people around you realise that things are different ,your child is different and its hard for everyone including us to adjust to this .

Its a completely different ball game being a parent to a child with additional needs ,whether that be a child in a wheelchair or a child with autism .They need you so much more to guide them support them in a world that can often be scary. Its the little things that we do that we probably don’t really think are extra but when others point them out or you feel sheer exhaustion you realise things are harder .

Theres so much I need to say etc but struggling to get it out in a proper way lol

I struggled yesterday and was in a grump all day .I was mega bitch ! Estelle went out bowling with her  friends and I sensed a feeling of envy at her freedom and fun.Because  I was left at home with lynx where everything and anything can cause great anxiety .Its hard and draining and consuming and you lose sight of you and your needs .

I miss the easy times when we could just spontansly make plans ,pop here pop there see people .

I miss living where we did as we was central to everything and made life easier,

I feel over the last six months my world has shrunk in many ways.I don’t regret moving as we needed a bigger home etc but its brought so many changes etc.Its also getting me down and overwhelmed with the work the house needs which in all honesty I don’t know when I will have time money and energy to do it.

Sometimes its all just too much for me ,I felt annoyed yest that I have cope and do it all on my own .How there was a time I had people in my life and I havnt now for many reasons .

I find it hard to connect with people and get frustrated when they just don’t get it .When people ask how you are ? Do they really want an answer a honest answer ?

I know it wont always be this way but its easy to get stuck in a rut with your thoughts

Ive gone off track a bit but if you know someone who is a carer,single parent etc and they seem off chances are thre head is in the clouds worrying organising fighting cooking calming cleaning etc all while ensuring their child doesn’t run into the road .

There needs to be nationwide support for us parents ,I go to a coffee morning mnthly with NAS and im starting a course with SNAP ,also getting help with carers support .But ive had to find these for myself ,you get nothings handed to you .


Maia Etxeleku is a cleaner for ladies who lunch. With mops and buckets in tow, she spends her days dashing from house to house cleaning up after them, as they rush from one exhausting Pilates class to the next.

But an unusual inheritance catapults her into the very exclusive world of Stirling Hall School – a place where no child can survive without organic apricots and no woman goes a week without a manicure.

As Maia and her children, Bronte and Harley, try to settle into their new life, Maia is inadvertently drawn to the one man who can help her family fit in. But is his interest in her purely professional? And will it win her any favours at the school gate?

A hilarious, straight-talking read for anyone who’s ever despaired at the politics of the school run.

I picked this up as the cover really jumped out at me and any book surrounding parents and the dramas of school are great to relate to .

I had the absolute pleasure of meeting Kerry at the Hampstead and Highgate literacy festival who was lovely .

I finished this book early hours this morning and alongside waking up to the storm today is a day I wish I drunk coffee lol

This book has everything and more ,I loved it, there was laughter and tears .

Within a few chapters I disliked Maia partner colin very much and by the end he reminded me a lot of my abusive ex so I was really cheering Maia on in her quest to better her life and her kids.

We meet an array of different character’s ,I loved clover she had me in stitches and she turned out to be a great friend to Maia when she needed her which cant be said for her so called best friend sandy .

I fell in love with  Mr peters who looks beyond Maias social and financial status and sees her for the women she really is.

This book deals with some serious issues but mixed with funny enjoyable moments . Its a story of how life gets turned upside down and is it for the better?

I think a lot of parents will be able to relate to this book. This is a real honest  heartwarming book

I cried happy tears at the ending which I didn’t see coming .

Really enjoyed this book and look forward to her next book.