The affair

So if you follow me on social media you will have seen me raving about this series .

Well i have outdone myself by watching 2seasons in 2days!

The kids are away so don’t worry they havnt been neglected .

I have devoured this programme and feel like I have the characters embedded into my soul .

From the soundtrack to the sandy beaches .

I will now experience a withdrawal substation as I emerge back into society doing other things !

This is a story of 2 marriages ,2 families and the events of 1 summer .

It is told from different narratives which offers the viewer insights into each charactar .

I absolutely loved every episode and couldn’t stop watching .

I was transfixed especially with Alison played by Ruth Wilson . I find her very captivating whether it’s just her mouth her endless number of floaty dresses or the fragility we get to witness.

I have always believed in being faithful so this is a fascinating concept for me to watch .

But it’s more than just a affair it’s the psychological impact on everyone involved .

Season 2 we see how others involved have been affected especially the wounded parties and children .

This is addictive viewing with characters unraveling and not always in a good way !

Though whaf makes a good man which is something Noah is questioning ? 

Good and bad .. Evil and (what is the opposite) lol 

I found myself gasping many times and mesmired by the sex…so much sex .

One thing that I felt was a running prominent theme was the question of identity and what do I want …

When we meet Noah in season 1 episode 1 he is a very different man to the one we leave in season 2 episode 12.

We all make mistakes in life and I love how this programme highlights how choices can lead to mistakes and the aftermath .

I can’t wait for this to return though I will find it hard watching a episode a week !!! 

If you love scandal drama confliction and did j mention the sex ??!!! Then you must watch this 

Thoughts …

What do you want to be when you grow up ?

Remember when you was asked this and anything and everything seemed possible ?

I wanted to a dectective , teacher , air hostess the list was endless !

However life happens and at 33 I’m a single mum of 2 on benefits .  Not only that but a carer to 2 autistic  children and learning new ways to deal with life after a breakdown .

This can often lead to feelings of frustration and resentment .

But also who am I ?

What do I want ?

Where will I be when the kids grow up?

And the answer is I don’t know and that’s kind of scary .

Because that day will come . The years fly by and I find each September a turning point ,a new academic year all change. A time to reflect and take stock .

Bottom line is this isn’t the life I chose and I now know life is crazy unpredictable  and there are no guarantees .

Earlier this year I got diagnosed with a personality disorder one that means I struggle to adapt to change and stressful times .

So this explained some of the problems and feelings I’ve had in the past .

As part of that I am trying to live for today and not think 5steps ahead .

But as said before when life is a constant cycle of growing and changing it inevitable that every now and then your going to think  ok what next ? What in 5 years ?

Another thing is being a single mum you have time apart from your kids …the kids that are literally your life . Yes it’s hard work and you often nag more than ideal but you love them . It becomes more apparent that you are alone . Friends are not always free , your not rolling in cash or rolling in the bed sheets lol

Luckily I’m a bit of lone wolf and happily entertain myself but it does give you a glimpse of the future .

When your kids are not there you can forget what your strengths are and where your passion lies .

Identity and what makes you you .

What will I bring to the table in 5 years 10years time.

I had children very young settled down young that I have know no different .

This blog post has completely gone in million directions rather than one .

But bottom line what I’ve been thinking of and analysing is what next and what of my future .

Not worrying and panicking just genuinely thinking ahead .
Also how bloody scary it is to think of kids growing up .

Estelle goes into year 10 and Lynx into year 6… Crazy

I have many ideas and passions but I don’t know which way to turn etc .

But I also know that I’m still technically in recovery from a breakdown and have to learn to be easy on myself . Be kind and believe in myself.

I have also been thinking of all the friendships and relationships with men and family that have not worked out . It hurts and makes me sad .

Just generally thinking of life and how it turns out .

I also believe in fate and what happens happens for a reason.

But I also know you have to push yourself in life and go for what you want.

So again

What do you want to be when you grow up ?? 

BOOK REVIEW LATE SUMMER IN THE VINEYARD BY JO THOMAS

Emmy bridges has landed the opportunity of a lifetime.

What could be better than three months working for a winemaker in the rolling vineyards of France?

It certainly makes a change from organising office collections to buy gifts for colleagues weddings and babies . Especially when there won’t be one for Emmy any time soon . It’s just hard to bring home a man when your sixty five year old dad is up watching pointless with a Horlick .

But as Emmy copes with ambitious co workers and amorous advances ,she will realise that the very best and most unexpected things happen when you trust your instincts .

It’s time to let go of the past and finally start living .

Firstly thank you to headline books for my review copy ,apologies in my delay in reading .

I have been a very lucky blogger and been able to read advance copies of jos previous books . They are both beautiful and excellent summer reads. So I was delighted to get my hands on this !

I whizzed through it and yet again I was transported to the location of the story .  This is because Jo has a magical ability to create a world you step into .

Again she has created a wide range of fantastic characters and ones you can’t help fall in love with or dislike…

This is perfect escapism and a story of taking risks and new beginnings .

Emmie is facing a scary but exciting new challenge but is she the right woman for the job? 

She needs to start looking inside and ask what do I want in life .??

Isacc is a swoon worthy charactar who certainly riles emmie up the wrong way ..

Jo has become one of those authors that you know without even reading the blurb is going to deliver a wonderful read .

Book review saving Sophie by Sam carrington

Your daughter is in danger. But can you trust her?

Karen finchs seventeen year old daughter Sophie arrives home after a night out ,drunk and accompanied by police officers .

Twelve hours later,Sophie’s friend Amy has still not returned home.

Then the body of a young woman is found .

As karen becomes convinced that Sophie is not only involved but also in danger ,she must confront her own anxieties to stop whoever killed one young girl moving on to another -Sophie .
Firstly thank you to Avon for my proof copy !

I was eager and excited to start after seeing rave reviews about this debut psychological thriller .

I was hooked instantly with this tense fast paced book .

The alternating narratives give you insight into several characters but as the book goes on you soon realise not all is as it seems !! 

This had a shocking twist which I didn’t see coming and proves you can never base your judgement on what someone appears .

This is a dark chilling read and you would not think this was a debut .

I really look forward to reading more from Sam .

BOOK REVIEW LOCAL GIRL MISSING BY CLAIRE DOUGLAS

Twenty years ago

Twenty one year old Sophie collier vanishes one night . She leaves nothing behind but a trainer on the old pier -and a hole in the heart of her best friend Francesca .

Now

A body’s been found. And Francesca is drawn back to the seaside town she’s tried to forget . Perhaps the truth of what happened to Sophie will finally come out . Yet Francesca is beginning to wish she hadn’t returned .

The people she remembers Have become strangers. And everybody seems to have somethings to hide . What are they not telling her and why? 

Someone knows the truth about that night twenty years ago. But finding out could cost Francesca everything she holds dear : her family , her sanity and even her life .

I absolutely loved her debut novel the sisters last year so jumped on this in the shop .

This is a story about loyalty ,family ,friendship and secrets .

I was hooked straight away into this murky dark world with alternating narratives set then and now .

Who can be Trusted ?

Do people remember more than what they are saying ?

Twenty years is a long time and  people change .

This gets under your skin with each chapter revealing more about the characters and what really happened on that pier .

I was shocked and this is a very unpredictable plot !!

JA excellent chilling psychological thriller making Claire one of the best around ! 

This goes to show can you ever really know someone .

I look forward to her next book 

BOOK REVIEW BETWEEN YOU AND ME BY LISA HALL

They say every marriage has its secrets.

But no one sees what happens behind closed doors .

And sometimes those doors should never be opened ….
Sal and Charlie are married.They love each other .But they aren’t happy .Sal cannot leave ,no matter what Charlie does-no matter how much it hurts .

I have been dying to read this book after seeing so much praise for it.

Firstly I cannot believe this is Lisa halls debut book . This has got to be one of the best books I have ever read !! This will leave you shocked speechless and makes for a chilling read!

I have messaged lisa to express my thoughts on her excellent writing . Also my thanks for writing about a subject very close to my heart .  There were times where it was so close to home for me but it is so important to read and talk about these subjects .

I read this in record time  and I know this will stay with me for a long time .

This book is shocking chilling haunting but very real and happening .

I can’t give too much away but just know you will be gobsmacked . Everything you think you know will be shattered .

Addictive dark superbly written and I cannot wait to get my hands on her future books .

Definitely a writer to watch .

book review no turning back by Tracey Buchanan

Firstly thank you to Avon books for the chance to review this book.

It arrived beautifully wrapped with a stick of rock 🙂 

Right I finished this book last night and I’m still reeling from it !I’m in shock at the twists and turns so much that I’m yet to pick up my next read .

I did not see it coming !

The story is layered and complex and just when you think you know who’s who etc bang a shock .

Incredibly dark and very disturbing and you will feel chilled to the bone .

It deals with a sensitive subject and does make you question what would you do ?? 

And would we as mums do anything to protect our children ?

What do you do when you start to doubt everyone even those closest to you ?

Absolutely brilliant and addictive writing and blew me away .

Please do check out the other fantastic blogs taking part in the tour .