Whovian family

Who knew when a little lynx picked up a dr who dvd at library and asked to watch of the world we would be catapulted into??? He must have been no older than 3 and already there was a sense he wasn’t the ‘same’ as other little boys, preferring  his own company and his own adventures .He also was developing a lot later than other children ,of course now in 2013 I had my suspicions confirmed and backed up with a diagnosis of autism .A common feature of children with autism or related disorders is they have a favourite thing, and that day in the library was the start of lynxs …..HIS LOVE FOR DR WHO .

David tenant was the doctor when lynx first started watching and he developed his fascinating for the sonic screwdriver begging me to buy him one ,I think he has 3 or 4 now .The sonic screwdriver is almost like the doctors weapon assisting him in his adventures through time and space which of course takes place in his TARDIS which stands for Time And Relative Dimension In Space. Again lynx has many of these.

 

It wasn’t until Matt smith become the Doctor  I got fully  engaged in the series so for me he is my doctor and I already know there will be tears on Christmas day when he regenerates 😦 .Even when it was announced I cried to which the kids found very funny. In a way I’m similar to the doctor in that I don’t like endings or goodbyes .We watched matt grow as the Doctor ,he’s lovable ,funny ,clumsy ,awkward and made bow ties cool.

 

 

I have developed a soft spot for him as a person in how he has almost been a part of our family for the last 3 years .He has provided entertainment and comfort for my son who at times finds the real world too much to handle .So for me as a parent to Lincoln I want to thank Matt smith in transporting my son to a different exciting place and giving him hope and pleasure all in the comfort of our small flat .

The reason why I am writing this post is because it was the big 50th anniversary at the weekend and  lynx and I was very lucky to  have  the experience of being at the convention at London excel. We had our tickets and dr who t-shirts on and we were ready to go ! I was so excited ,not quite sure how lynx was feeling lol .I had been poorly the week before so I had everything crossed that I would be better and ensured I rested a lot as no way was I missing out!!!

Within 5 minutes of being there we was greeted by a cyber man and a Silurian …..lynx did not want his pic taken with them !!

We were ice warriors for the day ,or so it said on our passes.Our first port  of call was to watch the SFX show ,which was  presented by Dallas Campbell and he was joined by Danny Hargreaves who is the man who puts the bangs into dr who and yes he did make me jump.

When that show finished we had a couple of hours till the next show  so we had lunch watching the hundreds of whovians past in an array of costumes ,it was spectacular and you couldn’t help get a  sense of being part of something big . In fact we felt quite underdressed in just our logo tops ! We then  walked around taking in all the exhibitions and displays and of course hitting the gift shops …. I wish  I was rich lol .  Before we knew it it was time to return to the theatre where we would be seated till the end as we was watching the 2 Big shows REGENERATION and ELEVENTH HOUR ,excitement was building inside me knowing that I would be in the same room as MATT SMITH .I had been instructed by lynx to not embarrass him ….sorry mate as I know I did!!.

The regeneration panel was presented by Nicholas Briggs who provides the voice of the doctors arch enemies ….The daleks .He was joined by not one of the previous doctors but 4 and the atmosphere was amazing .I fell in love with tom baker who has a sparkle in his eye and oozed his love for his role of the doctor. Even lynx was quite amazed with him .There was also Colin baker ,Sylvester McCoy and Peter Davison. They were all fab and shared their own stories of their time in the iconic role of the Doctor .

Next was the eleventh hour panel which consisted of Stephen moffat ,jenna  coleman and f course matt 🙂 this part was presented by Jo whiley . They interacted superbly with the audience even getting a small boy on stage ( I was jealous) .I sensed sadness from matt when he was asked about his decision to leave 😦 Stephen moffat was so interesting to listen to and you can see how much he loves his job !! he was very funny too even swearing people  who leak spoilers.

 

Matt is just as gangly and fidgety in real life and just plain adorable !! I fangirled very much and embarrassed  lynx lol .As we was collecting our coats  walked past us which was so exciting and I waved like a mad lady at him !!

The convention was an amazing experience and just made the build up to the 50th anniversary episode even more exciting .

I can safely say I bless the day lynx picked up that dvd and changed our lives forever ,making it very WHOVIAN !!!

 

 

Trauma, Depression and Learned Helplessness

Effects of Childhood Trauma, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, cptsd, Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

If we suffered a traumatic childhood in which we felt powerless to change our situation for the better, we may have become conditioned to believe that there is no point in trying to improve our situation in life as any such attempt will inevitably be doomed to failure. Such a state of mind, one of the hallmarks of clinical depression, has been termed ‘learned helplessness’ by psychologists. If we are suffering from learned helplessness, we will lack motivation to create positive change even when it is clearly possible to do so from an objective perspective.

The following experiment, involving dogs, helps to illustrate precisely what psychologists mean by the condition of learned helplessness. It is a controversial experiment which is ethically questionable and I do not think I would feel comfortable carrying out such a research activity myself. However, here are the findings :

PHASE 1 OF EXPERIMENT :

The…

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gut instict??

gut instict??.

gut instict??

Ever since I was a little girl ive almost had a sixth sense which guides me in decisions I have made in life and at times ive not listened to my gut and  heavily regretted it.Therefore this morning I made a difficult but also easy decision to leave my college  course based on my gut feeling .It was a difficult decision as I dnt like to give up n things as I see it as a weakness and a failure which is a result of my past .I tend to ut a lot of pressure on myself at beig good at everything .However from day one of  signing up to this course something has been niggling away at me which ive tried to ignore putting it down to other stresses .Though losing sleep and it generally affecting my mood was becoming hard to ignore .I suppose I was waiting for a sign which did happen on Monday but looking back now there were signs from day one that it wasn’t meant to be .The final straw for me was finding out financially I could no longer carry on .I discussed with my sister and took the plunge to send the relevant emails .

I felt soo much relief and felt lighter but has made me question where do I go now ?and also why was it such  a big deal to give up when I knew it wasn’t right ? I have really enjoyed the last year of studies so have no regrets and know I still want to work in the area but for some reason this course wasn’t right for me .

So what next ?? well rather than panic and worry which im brilliant a doing im going to take some weeks to enjoy some me time and do enjoyable things which ive neglected for a while .These include swimming and meeting my sister .

Things have become very cloudy last few months and its time to stop and search for some clarity and joy .