I was going to write this last night but was too tired .Yesterday I was so full of emotions and sensitivity ,not sad or miserable just  overwhelmed maybe.

I have had Estelle off all week and by Thursday I could really feel the tension building inside me as hadn’t had a day off for 2 weeks,no actual peace to do my thing .Where ive been poorly ivve not been out and about as much s this affects my moods especialy not going swimming . Been on full on nurse duties with each of them in turns then by bedtime im shattered but of course lynx struggles to sleep so was just feeling like I couldn’t breathe.

So on that note of lynx and his sleep ,I finally managed to sleep to the paedtrician n Friday and after what felt like a parenting speech he said he would write a prescription out for melantonin . I understand he was doing his job but I found his approach unnessarcy as was asking me questions that made me feel like I was being judged on my parenting ,but I also know that a lot of that  is my perception.

I picked his tablets up and while on the bus home holding it I just felt like I wanted to cry . Its a mixture of emotions but I cant help but feel guilty giving him it and that its a sign of me not coping .I KNOW THIS ISNT THE CASE AT ALL . I just felt strange and even stranger when he went straight to sleep ….. I suppose this is all ive every known is having lynx up and I have to adjust to this posingly changing.

Of course I have thught about this for years and its only because its got to the point that I NEED him to sleep as its having a effect on him getting up in the morning for school ,struggling with the bus journey .It was having a effect on all our lives .

Us moving in February has rocked the boat for all of us in different ways.

We also had the news that his one true friend at school who looks after him is leaving 😦 this is the secnd time this has happened.I cried lynx cried .However I hope he will be moving shortly himself so we have to hold onto that .

As I have said before my periods have stopped but I still get really hormonal  which is frustrating .

Back to lynx and his first night on melatonin It wrkd and I watched tv in peace and crashed on sofa lol .

Looking forward to chilling today reading and watching the BGT final tonight 🙂






Well its been a while and every time I have gone to write a post I’ve struggled as out of practise !

So my little family has now moved from a cramped 2 bed flat to a house with the luxury of a garden an the children now have their own bedrooms .We have waited a long time and are very happy.

However it has been a big upheaval and we are all still adjusting to the changes ! As anyone and everyone knows who’s ever moved will know how stressful moving is . The million phone calls ,emails packing and unpacking. We also have gone from private to council so you move in with no carpets etc so its preparing myself for a lot of saving and decorating to get the house feeling like home. I have done lynxs bedroom and last night he slept in his own room after  being in with me for weeks !  This is strange as he now has his own space for the first time ever.

As always when life is hectic my health suffers ! I have had a water infection and have pulled  a muscle in my back .  This resulted in me visiting urgent care last week and was advised  to slow down … I did laugh ! So that put a halt to my decorating plans and also plans on hitting the pool! So ive took doctors advise and had a few lazy days ,well lazy as possible with 2 kids lol .

Its all change regarding the kids lives too as we live further away from the schools so it involves lots of traveling which does get tiring .I have put lynxs name down for the local school so fingers crossed he wont have too much of a wait .Though this will be difficult as he will be starting somewhere new and have to make new friends etc which he struggles with and unsettles him due to his autism .

Anyway that is all for now just wanted to get back into the blog .

write again soon