hello im here too

Had lots of words and thoughts in my head for days and not had chance to blog because life is so busy !

But something I saw on someone’s twitter prompted me to write this .Shes a fellow autism parent ,mum of special needs .carer ,many names are used to describe us ..what are our actual names??

She was saying how isolating it all can be and how our world can change without realising .

There comes a point when you and people around you realise that things are different ,your child is different and its hard for everyone including us to adjust to this .

Its a completely different ball game being a parent to a child with additional needs ,whether that be a child in a wheelchair or a child with autism .They need you so much more to guide them support them in a world that can often be scary. Its the little things that we do that we probably don’t really think are extra but when others point them out or you feel sheer exhaustion you realise things are harder .

Theres so much I need to say etc but struggling to get it out in a proper way lol

I struggled yesterday and was in a grump all day .I was mega bitch ! Estelle went out bowling with her  friends and I sensed a feeling of envy at her freedom and fun.Because  I was left at home with lynx where everything and anything can cause great anxiety .Its hard and draining and consuming and you lose sight of you and your needs .

I miss the easy times when we could just spontansly make plans ,pop here pop there see people .

I miss living where we did as we was central to everything and made life easier,

I feel over the last six months my world has shrunk in many ways.I don’t regret moving as we needed a bigger home etc but its brought so many changes etc.Its also getting me down and overwhelmed with the work the house needs which in all honesty I don’t know when I will have time money and energy to do it.

Sometimes its all just too much for me ,I felt annoyed yest that I have cope and do it all on my own .How there was a time I had people in my life and I havnt now for many reasons .

I find it hard to connect with people and get frustrated when they just don’t get it .When people ask how you are ? Do they really want an answer a honest answer ?

I know it wont always be this way but its easy to get stuck in a rut with your thoughts

Ive gone off track a bit but if you know someone who is a carer,single parent etc and they seem off chances are thre head is in the clouds worrying organising fighting cooking calming cleaning etc all while ensuring their child doesn’t run into the road .

There needs to be nationwide support for us parents ,I go to a coffee morning mnthly with NAS and im starting a course with SNAP ,also getting help with carers support .But ive had to find these for myself ,you get nothings handed to you .