grey clouds

I suffer from depression always have and always will and It comes and goes.

Well its here and I can deal with it and try and see light at end of the tunnel as I can rationalise why im feeling low .

We are reaching the very end of the school holidays and I am beyond exhausted which hasn’t been helped by recent events with my neighbours and lynxs recent bad sleeping .

I am getting no exercise which I know helps my muggy head .

I haven’t had a minute to myself to think straight . Been snapping at lynx then feel guilty and crying .

I always find back to school hard as its another year older ,step closer to xmas and these things I struggle with.

With back to school comes exencse which I get no hel with ,,because I had kids with a man who thinks its ok to buy fags bt nt support hs kids. So that’s pressure etc.

The last 6 weeks there has been little structure which has been good and bad and then wed I got to be up and out by 7.45 with lynx …

Then theres the whole back to school stress with lynx and the challenges I face and will have to face to fight for him.

Right now I have no fight in me to even brush my hair … my eyebrows and moustache are on my face with a passion as not had that done over the hols .

The little things add up.

The little things that keep you sane …whatever that Is.

The last week I have cried at EVERYTHING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just feel flat ,tired ,drained and very negative .

I am hoping this will ease but then I know il be shattered with trying to fit everything in with school run.

Being a single mum is bloody hard …I don’t see beyond that atm .

I have also felt anger rejection and frustration at people  and im lonely.

Even Estelle don’t want to spend time with me .

I havnt even  picked  a book up today ….that bad .

Anyway heres to things getting bit lighter and clearer.








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