Excuse the title but this was my thought at about 2pm this afternoon. I had been happily enjoying my easter sunday kids were happy ,everyone was chilled and I was cooking dinner .Then bing my phone sent me a facebook notification saying I had a friend request from my adoptive mum????????? This woman has not spoke to me since I was 17 and im now 31 so do the maths .
I have had a mixture of emotions all day mainly confusion and anger . I felt completely out of sorts and knocked me for 6 .Its partly because of her im as much of a screw up as I am .I have major self esteem and rejection issues .Im still seeing a counsellor as a result and find it very hard to let anyone in to my life often pushing people away .
The thing is it may not be her as there was no photo and I don’t know if that makes it worse that someone may find that funny?
I needed a hug today and instead I was faced with Estelle back from week at her dads with a scowl .
So of course in true Charlene way I took it out on her .
I feel like I really want a quiet happy life but there’s always something ! I am exhausted in every way .
Of course I messaged this person resulting in no answers really .
So Easter Sunday was a mixed bag for me and don’t quite know how im feeling .
