Well as I lie in my bed poorly 😦 I thought id use what brain cells are still working and write this blog .Firstly I hope everyone had a great xmas ,mine was really good quiet chilled and had quality time with my kids .Lynx wasn’t well ….he’s passed it onto me !!! They then went to their dads at the weekend and it was like my body was waiting till it knew it could rest before the virus come out . So I wont b doing any celebrating this new years eve and as kids are away and I live alone im all alone .Admittly this does make me feel slightly low but in another way it seems quite apt way to spend it as a result of how 2013 has been .I think also society and ressure we put on ourselves makes us feel we should be doing things this way and if ur not then ur inadequate .Im very slowly learning that its ok to not do what everyone does and it doesn’t make me any less adequate . Don’t get me wrong in my ill state now I would love to have people to give me tlc ,a caring partner but hey another year has gone and still not happened lol I am using the time to rest tho getting slight cabin fever now,thank god for twitter is all I can say!!!
So I briefly mentioned how this year has been well its been a real eye opener for me .Lost a lot of relationships and people showed their true colours which has been difficult for me .I turned 30 which I really struggled with .I completed level 2 of my counselling course started level 3 but then left . My son got his diagnosis of autism which felt like I was finally being heard .My daughter started secondary school and has discovered boys ..well 5 in particular ONE DIRECTION!! I have started to bake occasionaly whichc was a big fear for me and ive learnt its ok to nt be perfect !! lol
A big regular theme of the year has been my health I have been ill so often that the chemist expect to see me every month collecting antibiotics.It was almost like turning 30 shut my body down .Its been very frustrating as has made my parenting a harder job as being a single mum with no support is hard but even harder when your ill.I am completely out of shape and about stone heavie than this time last year.I have always swam and in the last few years built up a good fitness level with walking swimming and using the just dance games .This benefited my mental health and my confidence ,being ill as often as a I have has put a spanner in the works because everytime I got better and started worinng out I would get something different . So that’s been big downside to this year .I do feel less confident a shadow of who I was and have had to learn a lot abut who I am this year and my strength has been tested .
One thing me and kids did was a happy jar which we will be opening when they come home 🙂
Anyway heres hoping I have a healthier new year and to getting fit again .Its not abut losing weight for me its about feeling good mentally and physically .2014 really is a empty book for me as compared to last year I have no set goals and plans but wheras in the past this would scare me it now feels me with hope.
I have a few ideas floating about atm career wise but I believe in signs and fate and will not overthink or worry.
I want to look into charity work
Me and the kids will do the happy jar again
I will carry on reading which Is a no brainer but im going to make a log of what im reading !!!
I will continue to do as a I am which is to accept make mistakes no one is perfect but to keep focusing on whats good in me and grow on that .
Hope u have fun however u spend your new years eve and hears to the new year 2014 x