Ever since I was a little girl ive almost had a sixth sense which guides me in decisions I have made in life and at times ive not listened to my gut and heavily regretted it.Therefore this morning I made a difficult but also easy decision to leave my college course based on my gut feeling .It was a difficult decision as I dnt like to give up n things as I see it as a weakness and a failure which is a result of my past .I tend to ut a lot of pressure on myself at beig good at everything .However from day one of signing up to this course something has been niggling away at me which ive tried to ignore putting it down to other stresses .Though losing sleep and it generally affecting my mood was becoming hard to ignore .I suppose I was waiting for a sign which did happen on Monday but looking back now there were signs from day one that it wasn’t meant to be .The final straw for me was finding out financially I could no longer carry on .I discussed with my sister and took the plunge to send the relevant emails .
I felt soo much relief and felt lighter but has made me question where do I go now ?and also why was it such a big deal to give up when I knew it wasn’t right ? I have really enjoyed the last year of studies so have no regrets and know I still want to work in the area but for some reason this course wasn’t right for me .
So what next ?? well rather than panic and worry which im brilliant a doing im going to take some weeks to enjoy some me time and do enjoyable things which ive neglected for a while .These include swimming and meeting my sister .
Things have become very cloudy last few months and its time to stop and search for some clarity and joy .